The One Where I Call a Truce…SAHM vs. Working Moms


Being a mom is just hard. It is the most important job we will ever do. The benefits far outweigh the crap involved, but there is no doubt about it…it is just hard.

Working Moms: I know that you are tired of hearing how you don’t contribute to your kids’ classes or feel guilty when you can’t take time off for a sick kid or to go on a field trip. I can’t imagine trying to rearrange childcare when kids are sick or snow days. And what do you do with the kids in the summer?!  You want to  be involved in school/ sports functions and feel bad that you just can’t always be there. You worry that you might miss the first step or some other important event. It’s just hard.

Stay at Home Moms: I’ve mostly been one of you since having kids. You do not get to go poop alone…ever. People judge for being in yoga pants, but really, why bother? You will end up in play dough, or snot, or covered in muddy/sticky/chocolaty hand prints. People think PTO is your “job” since you get to stay home. Or that you are available for every snow day. Your brain stops working. Nobody is appreciating anything you do. There are no raises, no vacation days, not even a lunch break. Being a stay at home mom is hard.

Choosing to work or stay home is a difficult decision. Or you may not have a choice for financial reasons. You work you worry about being judged, you worry about missing out on time with kids, you worry about your kids, and you worry about your job. You stay home you have to answer the age old question of what did you do all day?, you have no financial security of your own, you give up who/what YOU are.

It’s hard to be a stay at home when you have little kids. Yes, I am blessed to have been able to stay home with kids. This is the choice my husband and I made. But it hasn’t always been easy financially or mentally! There are many days where I would love to put clothes on and go talk to adults and use my brain.

I applaud working moms for being able to make time for your kids activities and do well at your work. I am envious that you have a retirement fund, all on your own!

I am so happy my boys get to see women with careers so they know that women are just as capable as men. I also am thankful to the stay at home moms who can run PTO activities and help in my kids’ classrooms.

So I’m here waving the white flag. Can we just all agree that it is hard to be a mom whether we work or stay home? I will respect your choice or need to work. I will be in awe of all that you do and not judge if you are unable to send in cookies for school or forget a permission slip. And maybe working moms can appreciate the craft we put together for the fall party at school or that we can help out with your kids if you have to work late.



Maybe we can just all lend a hand where it’s needed. Maybe we can support each other as moms instead of judging. Maybe we can say an encouraging word of thanks to the Room Mom or PTO president. Maybe we can tell that working mom what a great job they are doing keeping all of their crap together.

Have I mentioned that it’s just hard to be a mom? If we support each other, we can maybe make it a little easier. Or at least realize we’re all in the hard together.


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