Posted on July 8, 2015
I am the only female in a house of five males; seven if you count the dogs. I am also a Stay at Home Mom. Unfortunately, SAHM’s are not the most respected of women. Apparently, we eat a lot of Bon Bons and drink wine at noon. And I spend all of my summer days lying beside the pool working on a tan while my children deliver me margaritas. And in spite of my Masters degree, which my husband will point out I’m not using, I am not very intelligent because all I do is “Mom”. I know this seems like an unfair analysis, but I do hear these comments more often than one would believe. Sure, it is said in a joking way, but…
I said all of that, not to complain about being a SAHM or how underappreciated and disrespected we are, but to say that I did NOT want my boys growing up thinking of me, or ANY woman that way. I want them to know that I CHOSE to stay home with them, but I am smart, and able, and anything else that I want to be. This is why two years ago, I started running. I decided I would run a marathon. I bought some running shoes and downloaded an app and hopped on my treadmill. After the first day, I decided I, in fact, would NEVER run a marathon!
I did run a 5K though. Then I ran a 10K. Then I ran two half marathons. In the same year. So kind of like a marathon, right? I also did two mud runs. My kids never saw me cross a finish line, or get muddy, or do the obstacles, but they knew I did it. They saw me train.
They learned that I could do HARD things.
I am not fast. Every boy in this house can beat the crap out of me in a mile race, but none of them can run longer than I.
Last month, we visited Sunny Hill Resort in New York. They have an amazing, challenging obstacle course. It is 5.5 miles of woods, and trails, and HARD obstacles. Number 1, Number 2, and myself decided we should do this course. About a mile in, I slid down a rope, from about 9 feet up, with no gloves. My hands were shredded and bleeding and blistered. And they hurt like Hell. I REALLY wanted to cut through the woods and go back to our room. What would my kids have learned from me then? That we quit when we get hurt or fall?
I didn’t finish every obstacle after that. I still walked the whole course, let the boys climb on my back to scale some walls, crawled through several tunnels, and trudged through 100 yards of mud up to my HooHoo. Maybe not as awesome as if I had done monkey bars or climbed walls, but I finished. Bloody, pussy hands and all.
Which brings me to my newest adventure. For Father’s Day, the boys and I chose to get the Hubs an outdoor refrigerator. Because when you are hanging out in the pool, it is too much to go INSIDE the house to get a beer…or juice box, or whatever. LIFE IS HARD!
We buy this awesome fridge, very excited and proud to present it to the Hubs. However, we failed to realize we had no space for this refrigerator. You see, a refrigerator needs to be PLUGGED IN. Who knew?! The outlet near the pool, is on a gradual incline of rocks and “landscaping.” Therefore, some space needed to be flattened out and paved in order for the refrigerator to sit there.
I am blessed with a VERY HANDY HUSBAND! He can devise a plan and create the perfect space for this refrigerator. Because all Father’s Day gifts should come with 5-6 hours of extra work, am I right? Turns out, said project will include more than 5 hours of work, and my husband has a REAL JOB that PAYS him MONEY. So weirdly, that job is his priority. Which means, if this project is going to get done, it will need to get done by ME!
I spent several hours on Friday, digging a hole. In rocks. It sucked. I got the whole “refrigerator area” leveled and flat. On that way home from baseball Sunday evening, we stopped and bought pavers and mortar to create a patio for this God forsaken refrigerator. Monday morning, I got up and got busy working. No plan and no idea what in HECK I am doing! Back to Lowe’s for more supplies, because I realize we also need a retaining wall to separate the rest of the incline from the new paved area.
You guys, I hammered away at the old pavers. Moved heavy bricks. Got very dirty and very sweaty.
I BUILT A RETAINING WALL AND PATIO! By myself. Well, the kids helped a bit. Which was even better. They actually saw me in my full badassery. One day, when THEY need to build a patio, they will say, “My MOM, taught me to do that.”
Even better, I had no clue what in Hell I was doing, and I just figured that crap out. I didn’t quit because I didn’t know how. I PERSERVERED.
And, that stuff matters. Not the patio. But that my boys can see me working to be better at something, to be a better ME. To see me learning something new. Perservering. Solving a problem. Relying on myself. Being Independent.
It was great to see the US Women win the World Cup this week. I love that my boys saw a group of women athletes work together to be amazing. But I’m also glad they see ME getting crap done too!