The One With All the Dress Codes

Most of the kids are back in school across the country now. And with that comes more stories on dress codes. I hear a lot of complaints from my friends who have little girls who can’t wear a sundress, or yoga pants, or even find an appropriate length short to wear to school. Some schools seem to have very few rules- daisy dukes and belly shirts, while some are VERY strict.

I saw this story on the Today show a few weeks ago. She was in trouble for showing her collarbone. For the Love!

dress code Now I understand a dress code policy. My boys’ school has a dress code policy. And I’m sure there are more “rules” that apply to the girls than to the boys: length of shorts/skirts, long shirt covering yoga pants/leggings, etc. Tank tops and saggy draws are a no-no for both genders, as are shirts with inappropriate logos or slogans. The policy also states that the rules are in place to teach the kids that in the real world it isn’t always appropriate to wear your short shorts or show your boxers or whatever. That makes sense to me.

Before I go any further, moms of girls, please know that I am not judging what your daughter wears. Lord knows I wore my fair share of belly shirts and daisy dukes back when I cold get away with it.

What bothers me most about the story about this cute little girl in Kentucky though, is this sentence from the code policy…”because it may distract their male class mates.”

What?! She can’t show her collarbones because it may distract her male classmates.

As a mother of four boys, I am offended and a little pissy about this if I’m honest. Are my boys really so distractible and stupid that they are unable to learn because some little girl is showing her collarbones or her knees or whatever? It’s just absurd to me! Are we really going to blame this on the boys in class?

I have two arguments here. First of all, my boys are still young so I’m hoping this doesn’t apply to them. But I am married to a man and have been for 15 years. I can tell you he doesn’t give a rat’s crap what I have on, the thought is in the man’s mind! I have been in flannel pajamas, a breast milk stained T-shirt, unbathed for who knows how many days, and he was thinking about getting him a little some. So collarbones or no, if they are old enough to have the thoughts, they will have the thoughts.

Secondly, and most importantly, let’s give them a little credit here. Boys might be checking out a little girl in her yoga pants, fine, but does that really render his brain incapable of absorbing any other information? I find this very hard to believe. I guarantee Bill Gates isn’t sitting on his billions right now thinking, “I’m sure glad girls couldn’t wear tank tops to school or I wouldn’t know a thing.”

If a boy can not pass a test or grasp new information because he is checking out some girl’s kneecap, then there may be a problem somewhere else besides the girl’s kneecap!

I have an almost 13 year old boy. I am not naïve enough to believe he doesn’t look around his classes and see cute girls. He has still managed to somehow earn himself a spot in enriched classes and on Honor Rolls in spite of the girls showing their collarbones. It is amazing, I know!

So, to the schools, please have appropriate dress codes. I do see a need for them. But please be reasonable, and Please do not blame your dress code on my boys!


A mom of Boys



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