Posted on February 26, 2015
The One With the Questions for Boys
I live with a lot of boys, which is really pretty nice most of the time. We do not have a lot of Feels or drama. Boys punch each other and move on. They are pretty straight forward creatures. Give them food, a pair of shoes, a couple changes of clothes and they are pretty good.
That doesn’t mean I understand EVERYTHING about them. There have been a few things weighing on my mind regarding the male species. Here they are, in no particular order:
1. Are you afraid the THING is going to fall off? I mean really, why is your “wenis” (as my 4 year old lovingly refers to his) always in your hand? I know, it “sticks together”sometimes, but not ALL THE TIME! If you are sitting and watching TV or reading a book or whatever, I guarantee it is not going to go anywhere. It does not need to be held.
2. Does the back of the toilet resemble a backboard? I realize there is a rim, and a big hole, and your coach encourages you to use the backboard. But in this case, the urine doesn’t bounce off and into the net…it just hits the back and drips down. And it’s disgusting.In the restroom, can we please try to “”swish” it?
3. When will farts stop being funny? Now when I say that, I mean only yours of course. Because if anybody else passes gas, they are gross and disgusting. But, if it is you, it is hilarious!!
4. Why are you unable to find ANYTHING? I have the worst vision in the house, but somehow I am the only one able to find something. The missing item can literally be right in front of your face and unable to be seen. God forbid, you may have to move one item to find another, or physically get up and look for something.
5. Do you really think yelling at the television will actually change the outcome of the game? I am certain that the referees and umpires can not hear you yelling at their missed calls. And if they could, I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t change their minds anyway. The players are not going to start playing defense or getting rebounds because you are standing up yelling at them to do so. I’m just saying…
If anyone can offer me insights into any of these queries, I would LOVE to learn them. Or, if you have any deep, burning boy questions itching away at you, I would like to hear them too!